The Lost Boys
An easy and obvious choice to start off with, but I’m listing them first because our second gang relies on this movie. Obviously ‘The Lost Boys’ was one of the most kick-ass teen movies of the 80’s, packed with bankable young Hollywood roll-a-rounds like Kiefer Sutherland and the two Coreys, as well as the obligatory super hot teen chick in Jamie Gertz. It’s funny, jumpy, cheesy, stuffed with horrendous 80’s fashion, a killer soundtrack and amazing quotes: “My own brother, a goddamn shit sucking vampire. Well you wait until Mom finds out!”
Initially, David’s (Sutherland) gang of cock-rocking vampires come off a bit camp, what with the poodle rock hair do’s and earrings. But that all changes when they pull up on their killer motorcycles and tear up the beach en-route to massacre the Surf-Nazi’s around a campfire, revealing themselves as vampires for the first time.
The way they slaughter their rival gang by swooping down on them from a tree and peeling their scalps off, tearing their throats out and dumping their mutilated bodies on the fire before nonchalantly walking back up the hill in bloodied human form and announcing “Now you know what we are, now you know what you are” is one of the highlights of the film.
Of course, every good vampire gang needs a good leader and Kieffer Sutherland doesn’t disappoint as the charismatic, peroxide mulletted David (although it turns out that he’s not the head vampire). The Lost Boys also score high on the strength of their lair, an old cliff top hotel that was swallowed up into the ground by an earthquake. At night they stalk the eerily lit boardwalk of Santa Carla preying on everything from fat Security Guards to (in true horror film fashion) couples making out. Unfortunately they never murder the muscle-bound sax player with Michael Bolton hair who turned up in Tina Turner videos during the 80’s.
Near Dark
Oh boy, this is my favourite vampire movie of all time, where the word ‘vampire’ is never uttered and none of the usual vamp references (fangs, flight, shape shifting) or killing methods (crucifix, garlic, holy water) apply. Instead, what we are given is a vampire cowboy movie, where a dysfunctional family of blood bolting drifters travel the flatlands of the US getting pissed on claret and hinting at a long existence.
If you’ve never heard of ‘Near Dark’, it’s probably because it had the unfortunate luck of being released a couple of months after ‘The Lost Boys’. The latter had more big name starts, a bigger budget and was aimed at the teen audience whereas ‘Near Dark’ was a broodingly dark and violent modern day Western, bereft of pop culture references and with a more macabre sense of humour. It also suffered from lack of promotion after release, failing to recoup its budget and slipping off the radar.
This family of bloodsuckers is headed up by the excellent Lars Henriksen who plays the ancient ‘Jesse Hooker’ (“Let's put it this way: I fought for the South. We lost.”) , alongside his onscreen squeeze ‘Diamondback’ (Jenette Goldstein). Check them out below after a scorching from the morning sun.
Another key member of the gang is the show-stealing ‘Severn’ (Bill Paxton), the sadistic maniac of the bunch who loves to toy with his prey because it makes them “Taste Better”. Paxton, Henriksen and Goldstein also starred alongside each other in ‘Alien’, which is showing at a cinema in one of the towns that the family rolls through. Paxton excels in a scene where the group take out a bar full of bikers and cowboys, slashing the bartender’s throat with his spurs and proclaiming the resulting spurt of the red stuff to be “finger-lickin’ good!”
Vehicle wise, the gang steals a number of motor-homes and vans as they go along, blacking out the windows with spray paint, gaffer tape and tin foil whenever they get caught out in the daylight. There are some great scenes of the vamps burning up in the sunlight and shots of the sparse landscape that gives the feel of a story being played out in an uninhabited land.
This really is a great film folks, a welcome drift from the usual vampire flick clichés and was directed by ‘Point Break’ Helmswoman Katherine Bigelow, as her debut feature. Nice to see the ladies getting in on the horror action! Buy it! Buy it now and lend it to me as I seem to have misplaced my copy!
30 Days of Night
I’ve only just come across this movie in the last 12 months, initially giving it a wide berth on release because of Josh Hartnett’s run as the main character. How wrong was I? Very wrong! Hartnett is ok, but it’s the gang of vampires, ‘The Nosferatu’ and settings that reign supreme.
‘30 Days of Night’ is set in the Alaskan town of Barlow, where for a month each year, the area is plunged in to darkness. When said time of year rolls around, most of the townsfolk split for lighter climes but there remains a skeleton community, including the sheriff, Hartnett. The place is buried under snow (which up’s any movie’s ‘creepy rating’ straight away) and when a large, mysterious ship drops anchor out in the ice sheets, you know there’s going to be trouble! Subsequently, this ship is a nod towards Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’, who also arrived on new land in a ship (also copied in the 1929 silent film ‘Nosferatu’).
So, as you can guess, the sun goes down, the vampires come out and start their 30 day feast. ‘The Nosferatu’ are a terrifying bunch lead by Holly Johnson look-a-like ‘Marlow’, speaking in a gut churning ancient dialect and dressed like 1950’s Eastern European proles. They’re fast, intelligent and bloodthirsty without remorse. They’re there to feed, then leave.
The violence is swift and brutal, and once ‘The Nosferatu’ have knocked out the electricity supply to the town, goings on look a lot worse in the glow of the snow. Hartnett does his best to save the remaining townsfolk from the savages, but ends up having to kill a few of his own before they turn into vampires themselves. There’s a brilliant scene where he has to decapitate his friend and colleague with an axe, which takes several swings.
Check! Out! This! Shit!
There’s also a great nod to the legend of the vampire, as the ‘Nosferatu’ look to slay everybody in town and then flee without turning any of the towns folk and leaving the returning community in the dark as to what wiped out the town, perpetuating the ‘myth’ of the vampire. That’s some classy shit!
The Lost Boys may have the bikes; Near Dark the spurs and shades, but ‘The Nosferatu’ have got the scares, and that’s what it’s all about!
Talking about blood-sucking in the snow, keep your eyes peeled for the release of Swedish vamp flick ‘Let The Right One In’. It’s going to be the highlight of the year!
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